Dating Spots

So you got her number. Awesome. Go you.

But where you gonna take her? First, some stuff you might want to know if you don’t already.

Stay close to where you live.

Everybody in Medellin lives with their parents. A girl will almost never bring you back to her place after the first date*. And I’m assuming your plan is to make things happen on that first date.

But if you’re not close to your neighborhood already, it can be hard to bring a girl back there at the end of a date, unless you two hit it off really well.

Due to the nature of Medellin, you will find that there are some very good neighborhoods and some very bad neighborhoods and not too much in between. This isn’t like most other North American or European cities you might know where the crime is relatively low and bad areas are few and far between.

What does that mean? That the spots where you can a take girl out for a date are concentrated in a select few zones, the “good” neighborhoods. Or the good parts of not-so-good neighborhoods. You will live in either one of these if you’re a foreigner or expat, but they’re not necessarily close to each other.

So. Asking her to get in a cab or take the metro with you to go back to your place will set off a bunch of alarms in her head. Girls here don’t like to do anything that could remotely make them feel ‘slutty’ (shocking stuff, I know.) For universal reasons (where aren’t girls constantly being judged?) but also a more specific one: the image they think gringos have of them. Basically, half-prostitutes.

So unless you know in advance that sex is not gonna happen that night, either because you don’t have much time, you have another date lined up after this one, you’re aiming for something long term, you happen to have a wart on your dick that week, etc., keep your first dates close to home.

You could always lie to her by omission, if you’re in the mood for that.  Happened to me once, unknowingly.

We were downtown a few blocks off Universidad de Antioquia when I felt like asking her to come back to my part of town with me. It was a good half hour away. But the night was going pretty well. We’d been hanging out at some students’ dive bar for just under an hour and already making out. She was the one who had asked me out in the first place. She agreed, with barely any hesitation. Cool, I thought.

Once we got there and sat by a local park, I mentioned that I lived juuust over there, one block away. She was shook for a quick second.

“Really?” she said.

“Yeah. Why?”

“I thought you wanted to come to this place for… I don’t know. I didn’t think it was for this…”

She looked at me sideways and grinned: “You’re dangerous.”

I shrugged. A few minutes later we stepped inside. Since we traveled all the way over here, we might as well go all the way over there too, she probably figured.

Did she not know? I could’ve been sure she knew I lived in this area. I might have forgotten to tell her. Maybe she forgot I told her. Either way, it was dumb luck. I might have ran into some more resistance if if it was clear in her mind I wanted to bring her right next to where I sleep. I’ve tried in other situations. It’s usually not that easy.

Go ahead and try though. Talk her into it gradually, tell her about this amazing café/pizza place/whatever over there in your barrio. Try to not lie. Be persistent and charming, not pushy.

You’d have a better shot during the day. Why? A few reasons.

  • The metro. It closes at 11 PM here. Not every girl is cool with walking or even taking a cab back home alone at night. I can’t blame them. Medellin is not that kinda place.
  • Girls here don’t have cars – except Poblado girls. Don’t expect everybody to own a car either. This ain’t North America.
  • Everyone here wakes up early in the morning. 4, 5 o’clock. Maybe 3 and a half. Keep that in mind. “I can’t stay, I have to wake up early tomorrow” is a perfectly fine excuse you might hear.
  • Did I mention people live with their family? All girls here do. I met one girl who had her own place. And I’m talking grown ass women with careers and stuff. They might even have a curfew. Don’t laugh. Things are different, it’s a family culture. Family bonds are strong; parents get real protective. Just something to keep in mind.

Always push for the first date to be close to where you live. She might not always say yes, since it might not be close to where she lives, but try anyway.

If you were to choose where to live with this in mind, Poblado and maybe Envigado would realistically be your best bet. They’re centrally located and accessible by the main metro line. Other good barrios or comunas like Laureles, La America, Bello or Sabaneta are at the western, northern or southern ends of the city.

It’s up to you. Personally I don’t even like Poblado. I lived in the western part of Medellin and made a pretty good run of it.

*A girl once told me about this Canadian guy she met, who told her he got set up twice in Medellin. Basically he would meet a girl on Tinder, go out with her at night, gladly go back to her place after she would invite him, only to get robbed at gunpoint once getting there by guys waiting for him. THIS HAPPENED TO HIM TWO TIMES IN A ROW. Don’t be a fucking clueless gringo like this guy. Don’t go to a girl’s place unless you already know her or you’ve been texting for a few weeks already. Medellin is amazing but South American shit like this is not out of the question here.

(More in the second part.)

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